Gallo Pinot Grigio Part II

As previously discussed, I really love these small bottles of wine.  Perfect for the mommy drinking alone.  Wow – that sounded horrible.  I hope you guys aren’t starting to think I’m an alcoholic.  I’m really not. 

I realize that it would probably be cheaper to buy a whole big bottle, but I’ve already discussed how I don’t like opening a whole bottle for just me.  But, buy one of these nifty little bottles in a 4 pack, and suddenly it’s the perfect size, and economical!  It’s cheaper to buy the pack than it is to buy them individually.

Ahh… money.  The cause of hundreds of marriage fights and probably divorces a year.  I’ve heard over and over that money is one of those top 3 things that couples fight over.  And Jon and I are no exception (although I’m not sure if it’s in the top 3, but probably top 5).

I’m an accountant, I create a budget and expect it to be followed.  I have a spreadsheet that’s linked to a spreadsheet that’s linked to a spreadsheet that will tell us exactly what we can and cannot afford.  I check our bank account activity every single day.  I balance our books to the penny.  Lord help him, if Jon buys something that I didn’t know about, I call him and expect an immediate recap of what it was, why, was it on sale, etc. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s my nature, I can’t help it.  I try not to care, but eventually I just go nuts, I NEED to know these things.  I like to save, and save, and save some more.

Jon is not an accountant.  He spends money as soon as he gets it.  He shoves bills into his pockets in no particular order, or shape.  He has lost cash.  At the end of the day he has often said, “what happened to all of my money?”  He likes to “blow” an unexpected payday.  All that stuff, drives me crazy.  It’s actually amazing that we have survived without me losing my mind over his spending habits.

So, how do we make it work?  I force him to look at my budgets.  He might be bored and not understand 100% of how I got to the numbers that are there, but at least when I say “that’s not in the budget”, he gets it.  He realizes I’m not just saying it to say it.  We talk about any and all purchases before hand.  It doesn’t matter if it’s expensive things like a camera or Christmas presents, or if it’s a new pair of shoes, or if it’s a tube to toothpaste.  We talk about it.  And I’m pretty sure Jon has come to expect my crazy “what did you buy!?” phone calls and is prepared with an answer.  I think he understands that he married a crazy numbers girl, that’s what he gets.  We each have some of our own money that we can blow without judgment on whatever we want.  Well, I try not to judge, and I don’t always do a great job at that part, but at the end of the day, Jon can still do whatever he wanted with it.

Understanding our different money approaches, and not trying to change each other has been especially positive for us.  Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I also think that Jon realizes I make good money decisions and lets me be in charge a bit.  Letting someone else in control of a part of your life is very difficult, but it’s also freeing if it makes your life easier. 

The communication part is the big key.  We don’t always agree right away on purchases, especially those that aren’t in my budget, but we can usually find some middle ground.  If it’s too challenging, trying drinking a glass of wine first.  That usually helps things go a little smoother.

We're currently working on correcting the biggest money decision we ever made, buying our house.  Moving, especially since this will be the first move with kids, will probably be stressful.  With a move, usually comes spending money, and buying new things.  I'm sure we'll disagree on some things, but we're ready.  Talking money doesn't scare us.