I'm not actually drinking this again tonight, but I've been thinking a lot about what I wrote yesterday, regarding Mom's yelling at other people's kids. I'm trying to determine what is the proper etiquette for disciplining some other child. I'm pretty sure I've told other kids at play grounds or other places to stop bothering my kid, or to stop throwing sand, things like that. I wonder if other Mom's have looked at me the way I looked at the Mom who told Liam to stop splashing yesterday.
Here's what I've decided, it's only ok to discipline another child if either of these two conditions apply:
1) If you've officially been deemed "in charge" by the Mom. Either officially babysitting, or just a quick moment while Mom runs to the bathroom. If the Mom asked you to keep an eye on things in their absence, you officially have the go ahead to tell their kid to behave. Kids
have a lot of rules to follow, and each parent is different, it's
probably very confusing for them to have someone tell them something
that is opposite from what their parents would tell them. In cases like these, it's probably smart to tell them once what your rules are,
that way they don't feel like they are getting in trouble for something
they didn't know was wrong.
2) If someone is in danger of getting hurt. Like, seriously hurt. Not talking paranoid Mom here, I'm talking a real danger. Then, not only do you have the right, but I think you have an obligation to say something. All Mom's have a duty to protect kids, and I take that seriously.
There you have it, those are the only two times I'll tell your kid what to do, and those are the only two times you are allowed to tell my kid what to do.
What do you think?
I sometimes discipline my best friend's kids & she has to mine - but only because we're like sisters & we've both previously established an agreement to keep each other's kids in line if need be.
ReplyDeleteThere have been a few occasions at public play areas where older kids have been considerably rough around my little ones & I've asked them to "slow down" "watch out for the little kids" "stop rough housing" - especially when they've knocked my kids over, pushed, etc. In those few cases the other parents were never around, and I felt obligated to keep my kid safe. I told some boys who looked around 7-8 that they needed to leave the playground that was for kids ONLY under 3....they were being VERY rough. Overstepping, maybe, but they were annoying the crap out of me & if my older child was being rough around 1 & 2 year olds I'd hope some other mom would put them in their place, within reason.